Have any of you been an abusive relationship or are currently? If you got out of one how where you able to do it?

Question

My husband is very abusive. It started the day we got married. We have a 7 year old child. I don't really know how to get out of it without risking loosing my daughter. I have no family at all. My friends live on the other side of the country. We live out in the country so there are no services that can help. I haven't worked in 4 years because I was seriously injured on the job and I still have significant issues. (I was in law enforcement but the accident was caused by someone else during my training phase) I made a very bad choice and didn't sue. My husband makes a lot of money and has a big family full of lawyers. He owns our house. I have nothing on my side. He says he will fight for full custody. I have no money. I don't want to risk loosing my daughter but I fear the only solution is to leave without her. What are other alternatives?

Answer 1

you are in a very tough position. I escaped an abusive relationship myself but one key factor is having funds. is there any family/friends that can loan you some money to find an apartment or somewhere you can move that has a roomate situation? your only other option is some sort of abuse shelter and that would leave you basically homeless.. and it could possibly give an upperhand for custody purposes (if there isn't violence documented or something) even saying he's verbally abusive, might not factor in. either the child lives iwth an essentially homeless mother who has no income or the father with lots of income support. that's why these situations are tough in these circumstances. also, if you do get out, how would you support yourself? hopefully you already get disability?

Answer 2

U may google where there is an office of social services and start from making an appointment there. They might help u with finding a temporary apartment and paying for it. I dont know in usa , but this is what they do in europe for tax payers money. They will also give u some money for living until u get a job. It will not happen over night, there is a waiting list most probably. I would not recommend to go to shelter with your child - probably is filled with junkies and alcoholics

Answer 3

There are shelters in towns. Call the police and ask to be taken to a shelter. They have all the resources you need for you and your child Do this before he starts abusing your child. If he is already abusing, you are as guilty as he is in the eyes of the law. Get out of there. Shelters are hidden places-no one knows where they are.

Answer 4

What is the nature of the abuse? Document bruises, cuts, etc for the police. If you were in law enforcement, surely you know someone to call with evidence of abuse. From there, it's pretty easy to file for divorce and get the kid and enough money to live.